May 4, 2012
Dear Dr. Reed,
Hello my name is Agnes I’m 34 and I’m a pre-op trans women. I’m guessing that you get letters like this all the time but what can it heart. Where to start from the beginning new from a young age struggled all my life to fit in. Mom left when I was one didn’t here or see her till around 12. Dad kicked me out off the house at the age of 10. Grand parents raised me told them that I felt like a girl inside and they did nothing to help as they were older and this was unheard of in there time to them so they just bushed it of and started to spoil me hopping that it would just pass so do to I was only a kid and had went to the only people that gave cared about me and they didn’t help I was Forest to Live a life that would unfold to be a train rack. I’m having a really hard time writing this letter not only emotionally but that I have learning disabilities and truly have know clue how to write something like this. But back to my story so getting stuck in the male rule for a big part of my life then I started to think may be I can live with this and that transitioning wasn’t the answer got involved with a girl and tried to fit that hole Man Women bull and had a kid we split up and I kinda realized at that time that this wasn’t working all the time I was depressed and felt disconnected and know what this was all about I need to transition to be happy so I started to transition at the age of 24 but not really having any income or education it’s hard to survive. So I got in a relationship with another girl but told here every thing up front and she seemed cool with it we got married and had a child and I slowly fought transitioning full time. Still didn’t work at this time I’v wasted 1/3 of my life and just made lots of mess’s then one day my world crashed. Here we go my best friend committed suicide. My grand father died of cancer and I got divorce all in one year sending me down. For If being trans isn’t hard enough and I wasn’t all really depressed and all that I became suicidal and ended up in the hospital 3 times that year and to top it off they know diagnose me bipolar so in my life I’v been diagnosed with dyslexia, bipolar, ADD and gender identity dysphoria. So know I don’t now what to do I’m at a cross road and looking for help I’m on social Security and Medicaid and know living life as a women full time but will never will have the funds to pay for my surgery which to some people isn’t a big deal but to me every day I can’t deal with it I spend a big part of my days depressed think that I will never know what it fills like to be hole it like there’s this part of me thats just a black hole I look in the mere and see a beautiful women and know that it’s not about surgery. But the fill of have a penis is hard for me. I have know came in touch with my sexuality and that I like men not women. Im not a real sexual person but that’s do to the being trans thing never really felt rite sex would always make me depressed so I have my letters form my doctors and I’m willing to be part of any documentary or other thing that I have to do or if there’s even a way it bill my Insurance let me know for Im stuck in a hard places.
May 4, 2012
Good afternoon Agnes,
We receive letters like yours every few days, some even longer. If the outstretched fingers of needy people in this country were just touching, they could form a line clear across the United States.
You have 2 major problems, a desire to have gender conformation and a need to be self sufficient. Just remember 50% of our patients come in with a sponsor, could be a loved one, family member, spouse, business partner, friend, or church group. 50% of women in the United States get married and never work another day in their lives (at a job that is). They are supported (sponsored).
Please call your County, Department of Social Services for help.
Best wishes for a restful weekend,
Harold M. Reed, M.D.